The Things I Wish You Knew
I. I liked it when you wore your brown shirt best:
brown like coffee with a little bit of milk
brown like your eyes
brown skin from the sun
brown hair.
II. I pretended not to mind when you talked about her
(which you always did)
because she made you happy.
III. She was brown too
(and little
and you took her to the aquarium
and your brown hands held each other
and left smudges on the giant walls of glass
and you smiled at her with brown suede lips).
IV. But I was tall
and the wrong shade of beige
and yellow
and my hands were too pale and cold for yours to hold
and you were happy.
V. So I just pretended.
-Eliza Granade
brown like coffee with a little bit of milk
brown like your eyes
brown skin from the sun
brown hair.
II. I pretended not to mind when you talked about her
(which you always did)
because she made you happy.
III. She was brown too
(and little
and you took her to the aquarium
and your brown hands held each other
and left smudges on the giant walls of glass
and you smiled at her with brown suede lips).
IV. But I was tall
and the wrong shade of beige
and yellow
and my hands were too pale and cold for yours to hold
and you were happy.
V. So I just pretended.
-Eliza Granade
Grandaddy
If you crawl through his attic,
it will seem a lot like his head:
full of everything he’s ever known.
In it resides
Textbooks full of useless knowledge and the answers to the 1973 medical school exam
Long strands of her hair and the way it used to smell like pennies
Flowery furniture with dog-shaped indents in all the cushions
A clip-on bowtie and Erik or Stephen or Lars wearing it in church
8-tracks stacked like pancakes and slow dancing with her in the living room
Piano sheet music, browning and curling at the edges and her papery hands turning the pages
And dust.
Nurse Nancy spent every Wednesday organizing and sweeping the dust,
brushing it back and forth with her spidery fingers.
But due to the nature of dust,
It settled
Deep into the mahogany crevices and the upholstery fibers that composed his mind
And she, like the rest of us, learned to let it do just that.
-Eliza Granade
it will seem a lot like his head:
full of everything he’s ever known.
In it resides
Textbooks full of useless knowledge and the answers to the 1973 medical school exam
Long strands of her hair and the way it used to smell like pennies
Flowery furniture with dog-shaped indents in all the cushions
A clip-on bowtie and Erik or Stephen or Lars wearing it in church
8-tracks stacked like pancakes and slow dancing with her in the living room
Piano sheet music, browning and curling at the edges and her papery hands turning the pages
And dust.
Nurse Nancy spent every Wednesday organizing and sweeping the dust,
brushing it back and forth with her spidery fingers.
But due to the nature of dust,
It settled
Deep into the mahogany crevices and the upholstery fibers that composed his mind
And she, like the rest of us, learned to let it do just that.
-Eliza Granade
For the one who pretends
Your mom had her cats
Your dad his clubs
Your brother was too young to remember
Your friends had their dolls
Your dolls their friends
And you were alone that December
You tanned your skin
Highlighted your hair
Bought Gucci, Tory Burch, and Ray-Ban
The boys all but drooled
The jealous girls cried
But I saw right through your smart plan
The sloppy divorce
Left you right in the center
You pretended to be happy and fine
But I knew the truth
You covered your wounds
In clothing and makeup and wine
-Eliza Granade
Your dad his clubs
Your brother was too young to remember
Your friends had their dolls
Your dolls their friends
And you were alone that December
You tanned your skin
Highlighted your hair
Bought Gucci, Tory Burch, and Ray-Ban
The boys all but drooled
The jealous girls cried
But I saw right through your smart plan
The sloppy divorce
Left you right in the center
You pretended to be happy and fine
But I knew the truth
You covered your wounds
In clothing and makeup and wine
-Eliza Granade
ELIXIR OF EXISTENCE
I drop off a piece of me
Every time our fingertips brush
Slivers of smiles
Motes of passion
Follow you everywhere
Like a flock of yellow butterflies
Precede you at times
Making us breathless
Keeping us breathless
Forever panting
Cavorting with abandon
Erase all darkness
From musty corners
As reflections meet
To merge and become
Elixir of existence
-Nalini Priyadarshni
Every time our fingertips brush
Slivers of smiles
Motes of passion
Follow you everywhere
Like a flock of yellow butterflies
Precede you at times
Making us breathless
Keeping us breathless
Forever panting
Cavorting with abandon
Erase all darkness
From musty corners
As reflections meet
To merge and become
Elixir of existence
-Nalini Priyadarshni
Where were you?
I almost left it unsaid, again
the unthinkable, the unspeakable
blasphemous it sounds to my own ears
some questions can't be throttled
even though there are no answers
just a long journey
paved with saline silence
"Where were you all my life?"
-Nalini Priyadarshni
the unthinkable, the unspeakable
blasphemous it sounds to my own ears
some questions can't be throttled
even though there are no answers
just a long journey
paved with saline silence
"Where were you all my life?"
-Nalini Priyadarshni
Laughter
Camouflaged as spicy mangotini
that passed between their lips
it melted into a pool of thirst
on his warm tongue
her laughter was rousing
and he had addictive personality
-Nalini Priyadarshni
that passed between their lips
it melted into a pool of thirst
on his warm tongue
her laughter was rousing
and he had addictive personality
-Nalini Priyadarshni
Natural Learning
We have shortened our distance-
From we know about nature to
We know nature.
We have revised our roles-
From a master of nature to
A friend of nature.
We have reconciled our relations.
Earlier, it was something other
Now it is our own mother.
We travelled a lot-
From innocent Adam to
Enlightened Buddha.
Nature! You have witnessed all.
Our fall and rise;
Our folly and becoming wise.
Now along with you,
We will grow and prosper.
We know you; we will live longer.
-Amitabh Vikram Dwivedi
From we know about nature to
We know nature.
We have revised our roles-
From a master of nature to
A friend of nature.
We have reconciled our relations.
Earlier, it was something other
Now it is our own mother.
We travelled a lot-
From innocent Adam to
Enlightened Buddha.
Nature! You have witnessed all.
Our fall and rise;
Our folly and becoming wise.
Now along with you,
We will grow and prosper.
We know you; we will live longer.
-Amitabh Vikram Dwivedi
O Virginia!
I know the way I entertained you were not real.
You said, “I am an archer.”
I pretended your virginity- the fall from Eden.
I sensed the innocence in your reptilian moves.
When I was low you made me climb down,
When I was high you made me climb through,
Nothing but climbing I did.
An improper movement I performed with you.
O Virginia! Now let’s play a game.
And you listen to my tale-
A tale of loosing and a story of gaining,
A game of listening and a play of saying.
I heard my victory in loosing myself.
You sensed my defeat in your smile.
But there was a cruelty on the corner of your lips.
That said, “I lost nothing but your love.”
But you only lost yourself.
-Amitabh Vikram Dwivedi
You said, “I am an archer.”
I pretended your virginity- the fall from Eden.
I sensed the innocence in your reptilian moves.
When I was low you made me climb down,
When I was high you made me climb through,
Nothing but climbing I did.
An improper movement I performed with you.
O Virginia! Now let’s play a game.
And you listen to my tale-
A tale of loosing and a story of gaining,
A game of listening and a play of saying.
I heard my victory in loosing myself.
You sensed my defeat in your smile.
But there was a cruelty on the corner of your lips.
That said, “I lost nothing but your love.”
But you only lost yourself.
-Amitabh Vikram Dwivedi
unfaithful
Being unfaithful is a food for my body.
It is a recipe that
I prepare for myself with utmost care.
With little lies and deceits,
I fill my soul for adventures galore
Where I party with others.
I smile seriously, and
Engulf the innocence
With my subtle moves.
It is all about living-
An art that I have developed while
Facing this world all alone.
This is how I survive.
Being faithful to myself
Makes me unfaithful.
I can’t help it.
But this is what I am, a selfish being.
-Amitabh Vikram Dwivedi
It is a recipe that
I prepare for myself with utmost care.
With little lies and deceits,
I fill my soul for adventures galore
Where I party with others.
I smile seriously, and
Engulf the innocence
With my subtle moves.
It is all about living-
An art that I have developed while
Facing this world all alone.
This is how I survive.
Being faithful to myself
Makes me unfaithful.
I can’t help it.
But this is what I am, a selfish being.
-Amitabh Vikram Dwivedi
Why should i love thee?
This is not a myth.
It is a fable instead,
That tells an untold story about me.
No fire was burning inside me.
They bought my body and choked me up
With dancing shadows of phallus and with their lust.
They fitted into me; their love.
No breathable space lied in those thin layers.
My body looped, leaped, pooled, and spurted.
And they burnt, bit, stung, and sprung.
No one saw their dancing shadows.
Their ill-considered gestures-up and down-
Remained permissible, and they surpassed human dignity.
Only my body was burning.
It was in rage when they were in cold blood.
-Amitabh Vikram Dwivedi
It is a fable instead,
That tells an untold story about me.
No fire was burning inside me.
They bought my body and choked me up
With dancing shadows of phallus and with their lust.
They fitted into me; their love.
No breathable space lied in those thin layers.
My body looped, leaped, pooled, and spurted.
And they burnt, bit, stung, and sprung.
No one saw their dancing shadows.
Their ill-considered gestures-up and down-
Remained permissible, and they surpassed human dignity.
Only my body was burning.
It was in rage when they were in cold blood.
-Amitabh Vikram Dwivedi
Quiet words
Imitating Robert Frost's "Flower-Gathering"
He spoke with a bitter tongue
And through the bitter tone
I plucked a piece of irony
That showed I was alone.
Were his twisted words implying,
The weak reasons underlying?
Did I let my grave silence deafen,
Or let my mute thoughts drone?
No more words? Without a wonder
To all tough times forgotten
That may have saved both me and you
From a pure heart gone rotten?
Time has passed, to make the case
That empty words cannot erase,
The case that what’s left unspoken
Screams time misbegotten.
-Monica Lenore
He spoke with a bitter tongue
And through the bitter tone
I plucked a piece of irony
That showed I was alone.
Were his twisted words implying,
The weak reasons underlying?
Did I let my grave silence deafen,
Or let my mute thoughts drone?
No more words? Without a wonder
To all tough times forgotten
That may have saved both me and you
From a pure heart gone rotten?
Time has passed, to make the case
That empty words cannot erase,
The case that what’s left unspoken
Screams time misbegotten.
-Monica Lenore
EVer After tomorrow
throw all your dreams
in a bottle of river-
so they can sink
and drag you down slow;
pick out their seams,
make them gone from the giver-
over the brink,
but don’t let it show.
drowning, just drink-
you're a spectral forgiver,
shades have the means
to laugh at each blow-
life is to think,
it is for the beginner,
but less than it seems
ever after tomorrow-
the cover of sleep screams
awake and gives her
love with body, scribed with ink
inside a rainbow.
-Marcus Jones
in a bottle of river-
so they can sink
and drag you down slow;
pick out their seams,
make them gone from the giver-
over the brink,
but don’t let it show.
drowning, just drink-
you're a spectral forgiver,
shades have the means
to laugh at each blow-
life is to think,
it is for the beginner,
but less than it seems
ever after tomorrow-
the cover of sleep screams
awake and gives her
love with body, scribed with ink
inside a rainbow.
-Marcus Jones